‘This complicates things. If I didn’t know what to think before, I know even less now.

Maybe love is as easy as this. Felix gets me. He knows me. He loves me. And I love him—- I love Felix with all my heart. But there’s something about Archie—- I don’t know what it is. He’s different from everybody else. Genuine, and sincere. And his arms are so big. He could crush me. I like that… but I don’t love that. I love Felix. There’s really no comparison between them. They are two different things. I like Archie but I love Felix. At least I can acknowledge that, which alone is a problem. How can I like someone when my heart completely and utterly belongs to someone else?

I never really experienced love the way everyone else seemed to. I never had any childhood romances. I wasn’t kissing people behind the bike shed. I haven’t learnt the lessons or made the mistakes I was supposed to make. I don’t know how this goes. And this whole things feels so wrong.

Felix doesn’t want a threesome. He did that for me. As much as he knows me, I know him. He would never have asked if he didn’t suspect it was the only way he could keep me, but the truth is I’m his, and I am not Archie’s at all. Poor, stupid Archie. What will this do to him?

Maybe it’s okay to be confused. Love can’t be easy always. Can it?’