Narcissism #1 by Lachlan Seal
‘Let me make one thing very clear. I’m not into him.
But I am a narcissist. I guess part of me enjoys the attention that I seem to get from boys. Attention that I don’t get from girls. I don’t know why. Maybe I’m too feminine. Maybe I’m too masculine. Maybe they don’t like the attention their boyfriends give me. To be honest, I don’t love it either. It’s more of a game to me now. How many boys can I make fall in love with me? I don’t wanna step on anyone’s toes, that’s just how the game goes. You work out what makes them tick.
Boys like him like me because they want someone to challenge them. I’m smart. Ambitious, with a lot to prove because my older sister is a problem child, and I’m a bit fucked up for the same reason which feeds his saviour complex. Most other boys are easier. They just like me because I have a nice body, clean hair, Hello Kitty perfume. I remind them of their first crush in High School. Fresh out of puberty. Ripe for the taking. But I’m not easy to obtain. I move around a lot ‘cause my parents are into house flipping. It’s part of why boys like me. I’m always new. A new flavour to taste. A new toy to break. It’s all part of the game. Call it a desperate bid for the attention that I don’t get at home.
So when he messages me that night, I play along. Part of me feels bad. He has a girlfriend. The other part of me doesn’t care. She’s a bitch. He tells me he gets none from her. I play along; frigid bitches are the worst. I’m not like that. He tells me he sleeps naked. Me too, I reply. He tells me he wishes I was there. Me too, I reply. He tells me he’s horny. Me too, I reply. He sends me a nude. Good night. I reply.
It’s all part of the game.’
Narcissism #2 by Lachlan Seal
‘My best friend is pretty good looking. I’m not gay but—- I see it. I have eyes.
I don’t get all that much action next to him. I have to take it where I can get it, so sue me for sending nudes to the new girl over Snapchat. Look, I know—- Okay—- I know I have a girlfriend, but she doesn’t even like me. Not really. She just likes not being alone. You don’t know her like I do.
Look, I’m a good guy. I go to protests. I wear my mask on public transport. One of my friends is gay, and I don’t even really care. I’m like the picture of a post-modern feminist dude. I’m taking gender studies, for fucks sake. And French. Okay? So I’m in touch with my feminine side.
Sometimes I just wanna have fun, and if you knew my relationship you would get it. I’m lonely. She doesn’t love me. She doesn’t love anyone. She’s always moving in the opposite direction to everybody else and I’m not like that. I want to go with the flow. I’m not interested in conflict, I don’t like being polarising. I would rather just blend in.
I loved her once. I did. But now—- I just don’t know.’